Jester self-portrait

jester self portraitThis self-portrait is a composition consisting of difficult moments which make up a happier whole. Many of the symbols used here are very personal.

The image of a jester comes in part from a character I performed in a school play back when I was about 12. I loved theatre and drama as a child. While I didn’t relate too much to the actual character himself, I did identify with other things we associate with jesters: bright colours, foolishness, servitude (to some royal whimsy), fun, music, self-deprecation, dancing, etc.

Walking out into the world, lost

This isn’t as depressing as I think I’ve made it seem by the title. It’s just my way of looking at life.

lost

It’s how I think everyone starts their story. Without knowledge, and barely themselves. So all our life we are struggling to be who we are. Hence the imagery of a cell, our basic biological unit.

I’m not the happiest with the pencil lines, but at the same time I like the way it feels unfinished, like a life. So it’s doing right by me.

 

Mind Map, e.g.

mind map

Have you ever tried to draw your mind?

When I “release emotion” through drawing, I’m actually releasing myself from the hold my thoughts and emotions have over me. The artwork ends up exposing what’s inside; it’s more about how I think than what.

To get an idea of my state of mind: I had been listening to a lot of true crime podcasts, including episodes regarding cults, when I drew this. Listening to the stories made me ask myself big questions about my place in the world, religion, protection, and responsibility.

It may not be visually stunning, but these types of drawings give me a different sort of pleasure and feeling of accomplishment. These “mind maps” remain the best way for me to explain what I am truly thinking.

Magic Kite

magic kite

Many films I watched as a kid featured kites. I’ve never actually flown one myself; choosing to watch others instead. Unless you’ve seen the sea of wild floating shapes yourself, you can’t know what it’s like.

Apparently, human beings have always wanted to fly. I’m one of those who can see the appeal, surely. But I have to admit that being able to see the kites flap against the sun and sky makes me feel strongly grateful to be on the ground. It’s incredible.

While I can spot some errors in my pencil lines, I’m proud of this one.

Deer Dark

dark deer dance

It’s been a while since I posted one of my monsters. This one is climbing over my hastily depicted wall, making his way towards whoever is looking at him.

The background is unfinished because what I really wanted to draw was the monster himself. I’m not the happiest with how he turned out; I’m missing movement in the upper body and arms (among a few other things). However, he’s still beloved as a concept and I couldn’t be happier to get him from my mind onto paper. Sometimes, you can’t ask for anything more.