Scare

I love horror. Gory, funny, dark, demented, all of it really.

Behold Scare:

 

farm life

This drawing is meant to have undertones of the mystery and paranoia that come wrapped up in the “occult” or “horror” themes. The sinister feeling in your body, the uncertainty of knowing and not knowing, etc. all inspire me often when I doodle or draw.

The eye I doodle constantly makes an appearance as a major character this time. The floating eye and mixed messages coming from it hang authoritatively over the structure below; all existing in a cold white space. I used the structure and environment of a farm because it was a wholesome setting where our sustenance grows.

To me, no place is safe. I have to deal with that reality. Basically, I wanted to show somewhere vulnerable.

 

red-orange

red-orange doodle

These doodles come from using a multi-color ink pens like this one (except mine was bought at an O’Hare airport store years ago).

Red and orange turned out to be great conveyors of my typical themes/inspirations; I chose them because i) I wanted 2 inks to switch between for the challenge factor and ii) I was interested in light/dark contrast.

Divided Doodle Relief

divided doodle

This unplanned doodle started with a big X in the middle of the page.

When I like the outcome of a drawing exercise, it’s special for me. It gives me hope that the determination to get something done can produce something to be proud of. That is something I’m happy to depend on. Relying on “Eureka!” bursts of genius leaves you hungry the majority of the time, believe me.

 

the “feminine”-I

Personally, my spirituality has blossomed out of what most societies call “feminine” ideals. The binary hasn’t impressed me since I was little and called tomboy, which didn’t bother me but nonetheless was based on silliness. However, sometimes the language of masculine and feminine is useful, and for the time being it’s what we have as a society.

moquee

When it comes to art, I tend to create things that some may view as “sexless” – sexuality and gender expression are not a huge part of what ends up being expressed. Since I do things so intuitively, I just let those aspects of my identity show themselves as needed. It just so happens that it is rare. *shrug*

I decided to draw in pencil again the other day, and when I looked at it I could immediately see the “feminine” aspects of what I had drawn. I wasn’t surprised, or upset, but instead viewed it as merely interesting.

I’m content with that.

God Egg

A title? A work in…pencil?! It’s powerful and rare to feel successful in newness, so I’m going to revel just a little.

god egg

A mechanical pencil isn’t too different from a pen, not until you start trying to draw and the line feels totally wrong at first.

I had to figure out a way to work with something thinner but also softer, while being varying in tone based on pressure. With a pen, being bold feels easier and the directness of the ink worked to make the art I feel represents me.

With a pencil, being bold needed to be more decisive. I attempted to escape the “refined” details such thin lead is good at producing, but that couldn’t be further from what I’m like. However, mixing thick lines with thinner details changed my way of thinking about creation.

“God Egg” is my own heart’s creation and using the new medium made me feel stronger about my work. This newness has turned bountiful.